Healing Hurts

Healing Hurts A few weeks ago I went downstairs, when no one was there, and gave our new kickbag a good kick.  When my son kicked it, the house would shake. I wanted to give it a try. So I kicked it kind of hard, and nothing happened. The house didnt shake.  Truthfully, the bag didnt even move.  Wow, I thought, that is heavy!  Lesson learned: the kickbag is not for me. Fast forward a few days and were in the basement, working on unpacking and moving things around (we just moved here a few weeks ago).  My son says Hey dad, you should kick the kickbag.  I did already. It didnt even move an inch!  Come on, kick it and let me see. So, I positioned myself, hoping that I wouldnt twist the knee of the leg I was standing on, and gave a pretty good effort at kicking the bag, hopefully moving it more than an inch or two.  I wasnt trying to impress anyone, but I didnt want to embarrass myself. The good news is that the let I was standing on was just fine.  Nothing twisted out of place.  But the pop/crack sound from my ankle, and the accompanying shock of pain, told me that I had made a mistake.  I was so focused on one part of my form that I didnt think about where my foot impacted the bag. Turns out, kicking a kickbag (or, a cinder block wall, which is what the bag feels like), near your toes can cause some real damage.  Not to the bag, mind you. What happened was that my leg kept moving forward kicking and, but the foot, from the tip of the toes, stopped at the bag.  And then ligaments said you idiot! POP! And here we are. Two weeks in bed, with a few more weeks to go. The bruising patterns have shifted over the last two weeks.  Mobility has improved greatly. Swelling has gone down a ton. BUT IT STILL HURTS. Certain things hurt less but there is still pain.  Based on past injuries I figure Ill be walking okay in four more weeks, but still have pain. And Ill be careful doing anything that would stress my ligaments. I dont want to re-injure anything. Behind all of that pain, healing is happening.  Im not saying I like the pain. Im not really embracing the pain.  I just realize that this is a weeks-long healing process, and pain is involved. Even though pain is a big part of that, and easy to focus on, I need to patiently acknowledge that healing is happening. I dont feel healing like I feel pain, but that doesnt make it less real, or less important. This, my friends, is like what I went through when I got laid off.  It was painful for a long time.  Even now, when I think about how it all happened, and why it happened, and the unfairness of it all, and how it impacted me and my career and my relationship with my wife, and my finances, and even my confidence in my professional ability I still feel the pain.  Sometimes it feels like anger.  Sometimes its sadness and disappointment.  But its still there. Has there been healing?  ABSOLUTELY.   If you are in the throes of pain from losing your job (and your income, and your identity, your purpose), let me tell you that through the pain, healing is happening. Healing, for me, came because of time.  Time heals all wounds, they say.  Time doesnt erase all wounds, but it sure has a soothing way of decreasing the hurt.  Its been 11 years.  Yes, I know I should build a bridge and get over it.  But Ill tell you, when something impacts you to your core, the way that did for me, you dont just get over it.  But its not nearly as sharp and painful as it was the first year. Healing, for me, came because of alternatives. Dick Bolles once told me that having alternatives gives people hope. And hope was a big part of my healing process.  When you dont have alternatives, and you are hopeless, you cant heal nearly as well or fast. Healing, for me, came when I was able to rethink what my value was in this world.  As a breadwinner, my value was largely centered around my job and job title. It was my identity. It defined my place in my social circles.  It was really cool to say Im the general manager of my company. What an ego trip.  When I got laid off, all of that haughtiness went away, and I found myself floundering. Who was I? I didnt know!  During the time I was figuring out what I would do moving forward, I had to come to terms with who I really was.  And I realized I was much more than a title even if the title was a big one. Stephen Covey talked about having faulty, untrusty centers.  A job title is definitely a bad center, and it took me losing mine to realize that I needed something much better. Healing might come to you through any of those, or through something else.  Your journey might be different than mine.  But I want you to know that healing will happen, even if it doesnt seem like it.  Even if it takes a long time, it happens. A few years back I was camping with some friends. One guy was a pharmacist at a hospital. He worked with ER doctors and neonatal doctors, in high-crisis situations. I asked him what the most amazing thing he had learned, having worked in that environment for so long, was. His reply was that he was amazed at the human bodys capacity to heal itself.  People coming into the ER with the craziest, seemingly fatal issues, and with some help, and time, they could actually heal.  Think about the miracle of that broken bones, removed organs, seemingly hopeless situations and given the right care and time, total healing. My friends, Im here to tell you, as broken and destroyed as you might feel, healing is happening.  Embrace it, have hope, and in time, youll be better than you ever thought you could be. Healing Hurts A few weeks ago I went downstairs, when no one was there, and gave our new kickbag a good kick.  When my son kicked it, the house would shake. I wanted to give it a try. So I kicked it kind of hard, and nothing happened. The house didnt shake.  Truthfully, the bag didnt even move.  Wow, I thought, that is heavy!  Lesson learned: the kickbag is not for me. Fast forward a few days and were in the basement, working on unpacking and moving things around (we just moved here a few weeks ago).  My son says Hey dad, you should kick the kickbag.  I did already. It didnt even move an inch!  Come on, kick it and let me see. So, I positioned myself, hoping that I wouldnt twist the knee of the leg I was standing on, and gave a pretty good effort at kicking the bag, hopefully moving it more than an inch or two.  I wasnt trying to impress anyone, but I didnt want to embarrass myself. The good news is that the let I was standing on was just fine.  Nothing twisted out of place.  But the pop/crack sound from my ankle, and the accompanying shock of pain, told me that I had made a mistake.  I was so focused on one part of my form that I didnt think about where my foot impacted the bag. Turns out, kicking a kickbag (or, a cinder block wall, which is what the bag feels like), near your toes can cause some real damage.  Not to the bag, mind you. What happened was that my leg kept moving forward kicking and, but the foot, from the tip of the toes, stopped at the bag.  And then ligaments said you idiot! POP! And here we are. Two weeks in bed, with a few more weeks to go. The bruising patterns have shifted over the last two weeks.  Mobility has improved greatly. Swelling has gone down a ton. BUT IT STILL HURTS. Certain things hurt less but there is still pain.  Based on past injuries I figure Ill be walking okay in four more weeks, but still have pain. And Ill be careful doing anything that would stress my ligaments. I dont want to re-injure anything. Behind all of that pain, healing is happening.  Im not saying I like the pain. Im not really embracing the pain.  I just realize that this is a weeks-long healing process, and pain is involved. Even though pain is a big part of that, and easy to focus on, I need to patiently acknowledge that healing is happening. I dont feel healing like I feel pain, but that doesnt make it less real, or less important. This, my friends, is like what I went through when I got laid off.  It was painful for a long time.  Even now, when I think about how it all happened, and why it happened, and the unfairness of it all, and how it impacted me and my career and my relationship with my wife, and my finances, and even my confidence in my professional ability I still feel the pain.  Sometimes it feels like anger.  Sometimes its sadness and disappointment.  But its still there. Has there been healing?  ABSOLUTELY.   If you are in the throes of pain from losing your job (and your income, and your identity, your purpose), let me tell you that through the pain, healing is happening. Healing, for me, came because of time.  Time heals all wounds, they say.  Time doesnt erase all wounds, but it sure has a soothing way of decreasing the hurt.  Its been 11 years.  Yes, I know I should build a bridge and get over it.  But Ill tell you, when something impacts you to your core, the way that did for me, you dont just get over it.  But its not nearly as sharp and painful as it was the first year. Healing, for me, came because of alternatives. Dick Bolles once told me that having alternatives gives people hope. And hope was a big part of my healing process.  When you dont have alternatives, and you are hopeless, you cant heal nearly as well or fast. Healing, for me, came when I was able to rethink what my value was in this world.  As a breadwinner, my value was largely centered around my job and job title. It was my identity. It defined my place in my social circles.  It was really cool to say Im the general manager of my company. What an ego trip.  When I got laid off, all of that haughtiness went away, and I found myself floundering. Who was I? I didnt know!  During the time I was figuring out what I would do moving forward, I had to come to terms with who I really was.  And I realized I was much more than a title even if the title was a big one. Stephen Covey talked about having faulty, untrusty centers.  A job title is definitely a bad center, and it took me losing mine to realize that I needed something much better. Healing might come to you through any of those, or through something else.  Your journey might be different than mine.  But I want you to know that healing will happen, even if it doesnt seem like it.  Even if it takes a long time, it happens. A few years back I was camping with some friends. One guy was a pharmacist at a hospital. He worked with ER doctors and neonatal doctors, in high-crisis situations. I asked him what the most amazing thing he had learned, having worked in that environment for so long, was. His reply was that he was amazed at the human bodys capacity to heal itself.  People coming into the ER with the craziest, seemingly fatal issues, and with some help, and time, they could actually heal.  Think about the miracle of that broken bones, removed organs, seemingly hopeless situations and given the right care and time, total healing. My friends, Im here to tell you, as broken and destroyed as you might feel, healing is happening.  Embrace it, have hope, and in time, youll be better than you ever thought you could be.

6 Ways to Make Your Resume Stand Out - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

6 Ways to Make Your Resume Stand Out - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career Over the last few months, my daughter has been working hard on college applications to set herself apart from other applicants. It had me thinking that in some ways, applying to college is much like applying to jobs, except the traditional resume submission method doesn’t offer much in the way of standing out compared to the essays prospective college students write. I’m not suggesting employers start asking for essays, but job hunters do need to employ tactics that set their submission apart from other applicants. Here are some tips on how to do that. 1) Address your submission to a specific person.  It’s unfortunate that many job announcements don’t include any information about who’s doing the hiring. Many businesses have multiple people involved in the process, which makes fulfilling this suggestion; addressing your resume to a specific person, difficult. However, if you can ferret out who’s in charge of hiring, adding their name to the cover letter and/or email will set you apart. Most applicants will go with “To Whom It May Concern” or “Dear Sir,” which could be a problem if a woman is doing the hiring. Adding a name makes it personal. If you can’t find the name, include something that personalizes the resume to a specific company, such as “To Whom It May Concern at ACME Inc.” This at least suggests that you’re not sending a generic resume. 2) Match your skills and experience with the needs of the job.  Employers are looking for people to fill specific jobs that can vary depending on the industry and/or business. An administrative assistant in a tech company will likely have different duties than an admin assistant in a real estate firm. Read the job announcement and circle key items the business wants the applicant to have knowledge of or experience in. Match these items to your own skills and experience, and highlight them in your cover letter and resume. 3) Speak the industry’s language.  Each industry has its own jargon and language. If you know it, use it in your resume. It shows you know the job, and also that you understand the industry. 4) Focus on what you know and have, not on what you don’t know and don’t have.  A friend of mine wants to apply for a job that he’s skilled at doing. In fact, he’s been asked to cover 90 percent of the duties in this job. However, he doesn’t have the right educational degree. Because he’s planning to pursue the correct degree, I’ve encouraged him to apply. When he showed me his cover letter, he’d made a statement “I know I don’t have the degree.” While you never want to lie or embellish, because hiring professionals often scan first and read later, pointing out your shortfalls will get your resume purged from the bunch. Instead, focus on all the qualities you have that shows you can do the job. The goal is to make it to the next round, where you’ll have an easier time pleading your case regarding shortfalls. 5) Back up your statements.  Numbers impress. Did you improve sales by 25 percent? Can you type 80 words per minute? Did you graduate top 1 percent of your class? Quantify your qualifications whenever possible. 6) Submit clean, clear copy.  Sometimes applicants try to set themselves apart by being clever in fonts, colors or formatting; however, these tactics don’t necessarily work to stand out in the right way. You’re better off to deliver a clean, easy to read resume that stands out because it uses strong verbs to describe you, than one with fancy formatting. Further, if you’re emailing or pasting your resume into an online form, fancy formatting will be lost and instead you’ll submit a hot mess. For email or online submissions, create a basic resume that has no fancy formatting (no bullets, bold, tabs etc) that’s justified left. For a print resume, you can use bullets, bold and tabs, but again, it should make your resume easy to read and understand.

Think Differently to Beat Impostor Syndrome The Perfectionist

Think Differently to Beat Impostor Syndrome The Perfectionist Embed from Getty Imageswindow.gie=window.gie||function(c){(gie.q=gie.q||[]).push(c)};gie(function(){gie.widgets.load({id:'6nRfQtH8T8ZfyedPTDNKSw',sig:'9-RNKLbP18KXw0huX_f2xa01siFAAGN2KvF7M_xJ8L8=',w:'509px',h:'339px',items:'585795908',caption: false ,tld:'com',is360: false })}); Valerie Young is the author of The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer from the Impostor Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It.  In a previous post, I wrote about the different versions of Impostor Syndrome. Heres one version. The Perfectionist believes that if you’re not perfect, you’re no good at all. Perfectionism is sneaky and hard to beat, because getting something exactly right is such a noble goal. Who wouldn’t want to be perfect? Here’s something to consider: you might not just be holding yourself to perfection; you can infect others as well. Young writes, “There is a right and wrong way to do everything from packing the car for vacation to preparing a project plan.” When you get caught up in perfectionist thinking, any product that you believe could perhaps have been even a little bit better, will be labeled as a failure. No wonder you feel like an imposter. Do you take over and re-do things your partner, your children or your staff have done? Even if it was okay the way it was? (Be honest.) Every time you tell someone, “This is how that’s done,” you run the risk of imbedding this crippling behavior in their psyche. Perfectionism is a huge setup. You’ll never be perfect, but you will wind up avoiding any challenge you think you can’t do perfectly. You also lose any ability to take pleasure in your actual accomplishments. You’ll give a killer presentation and then obsess over a minor point you forgot to make or fret over a tiny stumble you made. A recipe for misery. Young writes that perfectionists must adjust to a different mindset. She says it even has a name: Paradigm creator James Bach calls it “good enough quality,” or GEQ. Every company ships a product knowing there will be a few minor bugs that will have to fixed.   That’s life. This is not, Valerie Young says, about lowering your standards to being comfortable with putting out mediocrity; it’s about living in the real world. “What it does mean is, with some obvious exceptions such as performing surgery or flying an airplane, not everything you do deserves 100 percent. It’s a matter of being selective about where you put your efforts and not wasting time fussing over routine tasks when an adequate effort is all that is required. If you get a chance to go back and make improvements later, greatâ€"if not, move on.” Trust yourself to be good enough. If you’re sure you can’t let go of your impossibly high standards, consider some of your favorite things. Look around your home. Do some of your favorite piece have flaws, imperfections, wear and tear?   Of course they do. You love your favorite tree, your dog, your child because of their endearing flaws: the gnarled branch, the gently worn antique, your young son’s cowlick. Perfection is boring and unobtainable, and it’s holding you back. Here are Valerie Young’s new competence rules for the Perfectionist. Perfectionism inhibits success. Sometimes good is good enough. Not everything deserves 100 percent. Your perfectionism impacts others. Non-perfection is to be embraced.

Hey, Were Getting The Brand Back Together! - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career

Hey, We’re Getting The “Brand” Back Together! - Personal Branding Blog - Stand Out In Your Career You have envisioned the personal brand you want for yourself. You formulated a plan to make it happen. You work hard to turn your vision and plan into a reality. Life, however, is not perfect. Despite all your planning and hard work, you get off track. Somehow, some way your words or deeds are not consistent with how you want to be known. Life is not an endless succession of forward progress It may have happened completely inadvertently. Or it may have happened when you did something (or failed to do something) that had unintended consequences. • You want to be considered as reliable. Something happened, however, and you are not able to meet a deadline. • You want to be deemed altruistic. You are in a stretch, however, where time and resources leave you short of what you want to contribute. • You want to be thought of as hard working. A series of circumstances, however, you were not able to lend a hand as you always do. Whatever the case, these things happen. Life is not an endless succession of forward progress and establishing a brand is not an event but rather a process. There are going to be setbacks along the way â€" both minor and major. Brand building is a process and any process encounters setbacks You have to remember that championship teams lose games from time to time (and even have bad seasons). The world’s smartest people do not get all the right answers (and can do some awfully dumb things). Even the most beloved companies have a bad year (or years). These setbacks do not change who they are and what they strive for. Likewise, neither should your setbacks. Whatever the case, it is never too late to get your actions back in lockstep with the vision you have for your personal brand. It is never too late to get your brand back together. Author: Frank Agin is the founder and president of AmSpirit Business Connections. In addition, Frank is the author of Foundational Networking: Building Know, Like and Trust To Create A Lifetime of Extraordinary Success and the co-author of LinkedWorking: Generating Success on the World’s Largest Professional Networking Website and The Champion: Finding the Most Valuable Person in Your Network.

How to make money as a student - Debut

How to make money as a student - Debut Is your student loan is not stretching as far as you need it to, but you do not have enough time to get a job around your studies? Saving up not seeming to make a difference? There are easy ways to make money around university without getting a part-time job, and lots of them involve working from your bedroom. Interested? Read on… Sell your old clothes Clothes reselling sites like Depop and eBay are great ways to make money on the side. Have a clear out and list any unwanted clothes online. It is easy and straightforward, but you have to put the work in if you expect to make money. Take time to research what sells well, take decent pictures and be active on the app. All will make a difference and you could end up with a nice little business to keep you afloat throughout uni and beyond. Make money from writing There are loads of sites (like Debut!) that will pay for your writing. You can earn money writing about things you love, and all from the comfort of home. Just make sure that the rates they pay are worth your time, and know that it is not worth writing for free! If you’re a budding journalist, it is never too soon to start pitching to magazines and newspapers. Manage your time well and you could easily freelance around uni work. Make sure you get paid what you deserve and you could be making some extra pocket money pretty quickly. Tutoring There are a few tutoring sites popping up that will pay more than a typical waitress gig. You can decide which subjects you’d like to teach and which age or level you are comfortable with, then either meet up and tutor face to face, or host lessons via webcam. Also, these sites will let you tutor as little or as often as you like, and you can easily fit sessions in around your uni work. One tip would be to keep all communications within the app; do not let yourself get scammed by teenagers trying to earn some extra pocket money themselves by not turning up to tutoring… Trust me, it happens. Dog walking I would pay to walk dogs. So getting paid to walk dogs? Seems too good to be true, right? Wrong! Dog walking can be a great way to earn money around your studies while getting some exercise and, obviously, getting to hang out with dogs. What’s not to love? Ask around the local area, check papers and ads, or sign up to a website that matches walkers and owners. You will soon be making some new furry friends, and getting paid for   it! Make money from your hobby Everyone has a talent, but not everyone knows how to make money from it. If you are a top baker, why not try to sell cakes for birthdays or weddings? If you love painting, why not put a few works of art on Etsy? If you love crafting, you could make and sell greetings cards, jewellery or custom made bags… The list goes on. Work out what you are good at and start making money from it. Its worth a shot! There are ways to make money around your studies without getting a part-time job, as long as you know where to look. Know that you have skills and talents and there will be someone out there who will pay you for them. As a student, you have a lot more free time now than you will once you graduate so make the most of it; go out and make some money! Download Debut  and  connect with us on  Facebook,  Twitter  and  LinkedIn  for more careers insights.

Interview with me at Startupspark - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog

Interview with me at Startupspark - The Chief Happiness Officer Blog Ben at StartupSpark.com has posted an interview with me about happiness at work. Ben asked some great questions with a special focus on startups and entrepreneurs. And then there was this one: Has anyone ever said to you, ?Alex, you?re full of it. People just can?t be that happy at work! :o) Read the interview to see my answer. And congratulations to Bronwyn R. Lewis who won the contest Ben ran as a warm up to the interview. Bronwyn gets a copy of my book. Say would you like to interview me for your blog? Id be happy to answer your questions about happiness at work or whatever else you want to know. Send me an email with some questions and Ill shoot the answers right back to you! Previous interviews with me. Thanks for visiting my blog. If you're new here, you should check out this list of my 10 most popular articles. And if you want more great tips and ideas you should check out our newsletter about happiness at work. It's great and it's free :-)Share this:LinkedInFacebookTwitterRedditPinterest Related

MyPerfectResume Software

MyPerfectResume SoftwareMyPerfectResume is a free, useful and unique online resume software program that helps you create a dynamic, personalized resume. It has all the features that are needed to create a very polished and appealing resume to help you stand out from the crowd. You can customize it as per your needs.The program includes different templates to choose from. It helps you to customize your resume in a way that suits your requirements. All you need to do is to make sure that you make an effort to check out each template so that you can select the one that matches your needs. In this way, you can use the program and create your very own resume, tailor-made for your needs.The templates are meant to be used by novice and experienced users alike. This software is suitable for both the beginners and the experts. There are templates for all type of professional jobs such as college professors, tutors, teachers, etc.The program comes with a user guide that helps you to create th e perfect resume. In the user guide, you will get all the information about how to customize the MyPerfectResume software and to achieve success in creating your resume. The use of the software does not demand a large amount of time to create your resume. Since, you can customize the template according to your needs and requirements, you can customize it as per your needs.The software also allows you to preview the resume before you actually submit it to a job site. If you want to have the best resume, you need to see how your resume looks like before actually submitting it. The use of the preview feature in the MyPerfectResume allows you to see what your resume would look like before it is actually submitted to a job site. Since, you can review the formality of the resume, you can get a better idea of what is required for the resume.If you have a rough idea about the format of the resume, you can start making changes according to your needs. You can modify the format according to y our requirements without spending a lot of time and money to do so.This resume software is especially meant for the career aspirants who are self-taught and do not have much experience in writing resumes. This program can make your resume more attractive by helping you to make a customized resume. As a result, you can get the top positions in your desired profession. This resume software has all the qualities that make a resume very appealing and convincing.The use of the MyPerfectResume resume software is easy and effective. Since, you can customize the resume as per your needs, you can use the software to get your desired career goals and dreams. With this software, you can easily attain your dreams and achieve success in life.